Dawn's Notes
Keep Your Fork - April 2023
by Dawn Phelps, RN/LMSW
In 1994 Roger William Thomas wrote an article entitled “Keep Your Fork” which appeared in A Third Serving of Chicken Soup for the Soul. Since then, several writers have retold the fork story, and slightly different versions of the story have circulated. I do not know who wrote the version below, but I recalled the fork story after the sudden death of my little sister Joan in Fairbanks, Alaska, in 2021. Here’s the story:
There was a young woman who had been diagnosed with a terminal illness and was given a short time to live. As she was getting her affairs in order, she contacted her pastor and asked him to come to her house to discuss her final wishes. She told the pastor the songs she wanted sung at her service and the scriptures she wanted read. Everything seemed to be in order, and the pastor was preparing to leave when the young woman suddenly remembered something very important to her.
“There’s one more thing,” she said excitedly.
“What’s that?” the pastor asked.
“This is very important,” the young woman continued. “I want to be buried with a fork in my right hand.” The pastor gave the young woman a puzzled look, not knowing quite what to say. “That surprises you, doesn’t it?” the young woman asked.
“Well, to be honest, I’m puzzled by the request,” the pastor replied.
So the young woman explained. "In all my years of attending socials and dinners, I always remember that when the dishes of the main course were being cleared away, someone would inevitably lean over and say, ‘Keep your fork.’”
“It was my favorite part because I knew that something better was coming—something like velvety chocolate cake or deep-dish apple pie. Something wonderful!”
“So I want people to see me there in my casket with a fork in my hand. And I want them to wonder ‘What's with the fork?’”
Then I want you to tell them, “‘Keep your fork! The best is yet to come.’"
The pastor's eyes welled up with tears when he realized that the young woman had a better grasp of Heaven than he did. She knew without a doubt that something better was coming!
The young woman died, and during her funeral, people walked by her casket with questioning looks on their faces. Over and over, the pastor heard them quietly say, “What’s with the fork?” Over and over the pastor smiled. Then during his message, the pastor told the people about his conversation with the young woman shortly before she died. And he explained what the fork in her hand meant to her.
So the next time you reach for your fork, let it gently remind you that “the best is yet to come.”
The young woman’s story of the fork reminded me of a photo my sister Joan had emailed to me a few years ago when she purchased a mausoleum for herself. I searched my computer, hoping I had saved a picture of her mausoleum, and I had. Sure enough, the words that my sister had requested were engraved on the plaque of her mausoleum. They were the same words as in the story of the woman and the fork—“The best is yet to come.”
My sweet sister Joan was buried in the spring of 2022 after the cemeteries were reopened in Fairbanks. (Due to the ice and snow, the cemeteries are closed from October 1 until toward the end of May.) Even though our hearts are still very sad that Joan has left us, we believe she is doing fine and that all is well.
She has already experienced her “springtime,” those new beginnings in a new Home, where the beauty cannot compare to the beauty of springtime on Earth. But for us, we can find comfort in the fact that our best “is yet to come,” and we will see those we love again. Remember, keep your fork!
Call about the next "Living Life after Loss" Group at:
Meadowlark Hospice
709 Liberty, Clay Center, Kansas
(785) 632-2225
Dawn Phelps, RN/LMSW, Group Facilitator