Dawn's Notes

School Days
September 2011
by Dawn Phelps, RN/LMSW

Perhaps you remember the song “School Days,” written by Will D. Cobb many years ago.   When I was in grade school in the forties and fifties, we sang the song, and here are a few of the words:
 
“School days, school days,
Good old golden rule days.
Readin’ and ‘ritin’ and ‘rithmetic,
Taught to the tune of the hickory stick. . . .”

September—a time for school!  A place to gain skills to prepare us for life.  But schools and education are ever changing, and many different kinds of school have sprung up in America since the first school was founded in Boston in 1635. 

There are still a few one-room schools in America, such as in Amish communities.  There are pre-schools, grade schools, middle schools, high schools, colleges, graduate schools, and post-graduate schools.  There are vocational schools, alternative schools, Montessori schools, medical schools, art schools, music schools, and many more.   

Many parents are now choosing to teach their children at home—in 2007 about one and a half million children were homeschooled in the U.S.

There are correspondence schools and on-line schools which offer a variety of classes and degrees.  There is so much to learn, and knowledge abounds!

But there is another school that many of us have attended but not by choice!  There is no enrollment process, no grade cards.  There are no school buildings, no lectures, and no one receives a degree.  We get to figure out for ourselves if we have done well with each lesson or not!

This school is called the School of Hard Knocks, and lessons are learned through life experiences.  All can enter this school at a very early age and stay in school until death—education from the cradle to the grave. 

If you are from the human race, you are probably enrolled in this school already, unless you have had no problems in your life.  The lessons learned in The School of Hard Knocks can be painful.  C. S. Lewis, a famous writer, said, “Experience:  that most brutal of teachers.  But you learn….”

One writer, Robert Brault, said, “The experience I gained at 21 would be useful if I were ever 21 again.  But I’m 71, and new at it, and keep making age 71 mistakes.”

In life it seems there are new challenges to take the place of our old ones—health issues, relationship issues, financial pressures, even death.  If someone you loved has died recently, you may be learning some hard lessons about loss right now.    
    
The song “School Days” speaks about “the hickory stick,” once referred to as “the board of education.”  In years past, hickory sticks or paddles were used on the back sides of students who misbehaved in school—a painful way to learn! 

The lessons related to grief can also be painful, unavoidable, but not because we have misbehaved!  We are not being punished, even though it may feel that way.  Death is unpredictable; death is just a part of life.    

If you are grieving, I hope your time in The School of Hard Knocks will be as short as possible, that your “waves” of grief will come more gently and less frequently. 

Call about the next "Living Life after Loss" Group at:
Meadowlark Hospice
709 Liberty
Clay Center, Kansas
(785) 632-2225

Dawn Phelps, RN/LMSW, Group Facilitator