Dawn's Notes

The "I-Can-Do-It" Kid
July 2009
by Dawn Phelps, RN/LMSW

Will Thomas, our youngest grandson, is a true "I-can-do-it" kid.  He is the last child of four, a child that the doctor was not sure would make it into this world due to multiple complications during pregnancy.  Not only did he survive the pregnancy, but he emerged into this world on May 17, 2005, two weeks early, weighing in at 9 pounds and 6 ounces. 

He has not stopped growing or going since!  At home you might find Will Thomas running around the house in his red-towel Super-Man cape, exclaiming to his father Bryan, "Hey, Daddy, watch me fly!" When Tom and I take care of Will on Thursdays, we go to the café, and Will has his usual pancake, an egg, and extra order of toast for breakfast.  He likes to open the door to the restaurant, stating, "I can do it."  After breakfast, he likes to go to the Post Office and see Carl, the Post Master.  He pushes the handicapped door opener at the Post Office and says, "I can do it."  He can find our mailbox, Box 188, and now knows how to put the key in the mailbox to get the mail.

He says, "I can do it" when it is time to dress or undress.  He says "I can do it" when he feeds the fish and the crayfish at home, sometimes feeding them hefty amounts of food if not watched carefully.  He can count and knows how to bargain.  If I tell him I will buy him one thing, he will bargain for two.  If I give him two pieces of candy, he will bargain for four. He is not afraid to try new things.  Recently while at breakfast, I watched him work very hard, spooning jelly from the small containers onto his toast.  He scooped the jelly carefully and slowly—hard work for his wide little hands, but he did it!  The "I-can-do-it" kid!

What makes one child or adult try new things and others not try?  Looking back in history, what sparked Wilbur and Orville Wright's curiosity to try to build an airplane?  What made them keep trying until they successfully flew their airplane in 1903?   What made Nola Ochs want to go back to college after her husband died and her family was reared?  What gave her the perseverance to graduate from Ft. Hays University in 2007 at the age of 95?  What makes Nola still plan for the future?  Why are there champions and quitters? 

In observing Will Thomas, perhaps there is a combination of things—genetics, inborn curiosity or learned curiosity perhaps.  Maybe encouragement from Will's family has boosted his confidence, and maybe his successes continue to fuel his "I-can-do-it" attitude.  Or perhaps Will's success is partially due to his spunky "can-do" attitude and his own unique personality.  Perhaps we would agree that it is all right for a child to be enthusiastic and determined to try new things. 

But what about those who are the "older generation"?  Should we still be hopeful, set goals, and dream new dreams?  Should we still try to learn new things, have new adventures, and stretch ourselves a bit?  By all means, yes!  What do we have to lose?  We only live once! You may not desire to graduate from college at 95, and airplanes have already been built.  But what about other goals, even small things you may want to accomplish with your life?  Afraid?  Maybe, but what do you have to lose?  By God's grace, the sun will continue to rise and set.  Each day we will be one day older.  If we try new things, we will be one day older.  If we do not try new things, we will still be one day older.  So why not use your days to work toward new goals no matter how small?  How about working on your "can-do" attitude? 
 
Charles Swindoll who you may have heard on the radio says the following about attitude:

"The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life.  Attitude,
to me, is more important than facts.  It is more important than the past,
than education, than money,  than circumstances, than failures, than
successes, than what other people think or say or do. . . . 
The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day.  We cannot change our past. . . .
 We cannot change the inevitable.  The only thing we can do is play
on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. . .  
I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react
to it. . . .  And so it is with you. . . we are in charge of our attitude."

Life may have thrown you some curve balls.  Perhaps your retirement has taken a nose-dive as for many of us.  Perhaps you are dealing with health challenges or have lost a loved one through death.  Perhaps you are stressed due to a tense relationship with someone you care about.  Life can dish out some tough stuff! What we do with circumstances is up to each of us.  New situations may present new challenges but also opportunities to grow.  Is "growing" easy?  Usually not, and sometimes there are growing pains.  But what do you have to lose?  So take a deep breath, and hold you head up high, and go for it.  Like Will Thomas, put on your red-towel cape and say, "Hey, I can do it!  Just watch me fly!"

Call about the next "Living Life after Loss" Group at:
Meadowlark Hospice
709 Liberty
Clay Center, Kansas
(785) 632-2225

Dawn Phelps, RN/LMSW, Group Facilitator