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Dawn's NotesThose Special Gifts Recently, while sorting some of my belongings, I found a quilt, a wedding gift from almost fifty years ago. It was made from small pieces of fabric that were set together in a less-than-perfect pattern with less-than-quality fabric. The quilt was made by a special lady named Rosie from Waverly, Tennessee. Rosie wore clothes that lacked style, usually a plain housedress which she probably sewed herself. She was a widow with one son. She made her living by washing dishes for a meager wage in a restaurant in town. Rosie walked a few miles to and from her job each day. Her skin was tanned and weathered from the sun, and her hands were rough to the touch. Yet Rosie took time to make me a quilt for my wedding, using cloth scraps she probably had on hand. Rosie had little money, but she gave me a priceless treasure and a valuable lesson—gifts from the heart mean the most. Some of the most precious gifts I have received in life have not had a high monetary value, yet they are the most precious. While my husband was bedfast, more than once a friend brought a loaf of fresh, homemade bread. Others brought food. After my husband died, my sister from Alaska called regularly and invited me to spend my first Christmas without my husband with her family in Alaska. I will never forget the cards, the food, and the kindnesses—those special gifts. A letter and a card with a scripture verse from a lady whose husband had died, assuring me that I would have a future. Another special gift was given to me by Jayden, our granddaughter on Tom’s side of the family, the first Christmas after Tom and I were married. (Tom’s first wife and my first husband had died a few weeks apart a few years earlier.) My special gift from Jayden was a handwritten Christmas letter which she wrote when she was ten years old. Jayden’s Christmas ritual was to go into her room armed with paper and pencil, close the door, and write her Christmas letters. Knowing of Jayden’s ritual, each family member was intrigued with what their special note would say. Jayden is young lady who is confident enough to speak her mind, but she is also insightful. As I opened my Christmas letter, I wondered what it would say. But I did not need to worry—her letter was frank and kind, making me feel welcomed into their family—a priceless gift from a ten-year-old! More recent special gifts include homemade egg noodles which had been carefully cut, dried, and packaged from a lady whose husband had died and a small angel with a note from someone whose son had died unexpectedly. Special notes and Christmas cards—very special indeed—perhaps signs that those who had experienced losses were beginning to heal. Christmas 2011, a time of gift-giving, has passed, and a new year lies before us. Perhaps gift-giving should be a year-long practice, not just at Christmas and birthdays! Winston Churchill once said, “We make our living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.” As we consider our New Year resolutions for 2012, perhaps it would be good to consider how we can use our own talents and skills—what we have to offer others. For instance, most of us can bake. So how about taking a baked goody to someone or invite them over for a cup of coffee. Consider writing a note or making a phone call to someone who is ill or hurting. The gifts with the personal touch will be remembered, and your life will be enriched by your giving. Ethyl Percy Andrus, long-time educator and founder of AARP, said, “The human contribution is the essential ingredient. It is only in the giving of oneself to others that we truly live.” So consider using some of your own special talents in the year of 2012 to create those special gifts all year long. You will be glad you did! Call about the next "Living Life after Loss" Group at: Dawn Phelps, RN/LMSW, Group Facilitator |
