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Dawn's NotesThe Best Age To my question Will answered without hesitation, "Six!" I am not sure why such a spontaneous, decisive response, but he stuck with his answer that six is the best age. Maybe, to him, six-year-olds are bigger, taller, and more mature. Who knows? Our conversation made me think about "my best age." Was it when I went to grade school? Was it my first date? Was it "sweet sixteen" or eighteen? Twenty-one or when I got married? Best ages may vary widely from person to person, depending on our real-life experiences and the emotions and memories connected with those experiences. Perhaps you could hardly wait to leave home, or maybe you had the opposite experience of being terrified to be on your own. So what was "your best age?" Think about it! If you are still here on earth, no doubt, you have had a "best age" or maybe you are still looking forward to better years. Kenny Chesney wrote the song "Don't Blink" which makes me think about how fast those "best ages" can fly by. In the song, an old man who had turned 102 was asked about his secret of life. The old man replied, "All I can say is 'Don't blink.'" And he continues, "Just like that you're six years old, and you take a nap. And you wake up, and you're twenty-five, and your high school sweetheart becomes your wife." If you are a "senior citizen," you probably realize the truth to the message in the song. If you are not a senior, just wait. The years seem to fly by, day after day, month after month. And, yes, for me it seems the years are zooming by faster all the time. In the second verse the old man advises to "start putting first things first." In my younger years I diligently kept the house immaculate, staying up late at night if needed, but my values have changed as I have grown older. After dealing with death up-close with the death of a spouse, I now realize that housekeeping is necessary but not as important as it used to be. Being with those I love is more important. Yes, jobs and money are important and necessary to pay our own way. But my job is not the first thing in my life. Money will help pay for health care, but, ultimately, money will not save a life if an illness is incurable. So good health wins over money—one of the "first things." It seems a shame that it takes an awakening, a crisis, and sometimes an illness or death to help us to see what is really important in life. Sometimes a crisis precipitates change. In a sense, the crisis opens our eyes to "putting first things first." So what is my "best age" of my life? I would have to say right now, age 67. But have you thought about your best age? If you are reading this, I challenge you to stop a moment and think about your "best age." What made it your "best age?" In spite of your difficult times, in spite of your loss, in spite of your tears, I encourage you to keep your eyes open to new possibilities for your life. As the song goes, "A hundred years goes faster than you think. So, don't blink." Think about what makes you happy, what gives you joy. Then live life 2010 deliberately and fully, and make plans to make this year your "best age" ever. Call about the next "Living Life after Loss" Group at: Dawn Phelps, RN/LMSW, Group Facilitator |
