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Dawn's NotesDreams... Martin Luther King also learned to dream. In 1963, at the age of 33, Dr. King spoke to 200,000 people at the Lincoln Memorial in Washington, D.C. In his speech he stated, “I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.” King had entered college at age 15; he won the Nobel Peace Prize in 1964 at the age of 34. He was assassinated at the age of 39, but he left a legacy behind! Nola Ochs, a Kansan, had a dream and completed her Bachelor of Science degree in history at Ft. Hays University, Hays, Kansas, in May, 2007, at the age of 95! She graduated with her 22-year-old granddaughter. Even though Nola started college classes in 1930, she did not complete her “college dream” until 2007, after living much of the history written about in the textbooks! She returned to school after rearing her family and after the death of her husband. You may not be familiar with the name Anna Mary Robertson, but you may have heard of “Grandma Moses,” the famous painter who blossomed in her later years. Anna was born on a farm in upstate New York in 1860. She married Thomas Moses. They had ten children, but five of their children died in infancy. Her husband died in 1927, and after that Anna began filling her time with embroidery work. Due to her arthritis, the embroidery work became difficult. So when she was close to 80 years old, she began painting. Grandma Moses painted for about 20 years, completing more than 1,600 works. She died in 1961 at the age of 101! These are just a few examples of people with dreams--people who had experienced much adversity and loss, people who probably cried many tears! Yet they kept on going. Looking back, I believe I almost quit dreaming after the death of my husband of 44 years. He died at the age of 63, and I felt like a part of me was gone! He and I had planned to retire together, to watch our grandchildren grow up. The “our” dreams were gone, and my world was shaken! With his death, there were many questions such as What should I do? Where should I live? How do I act in my new role as a widow? After the funeral, it was hard to know what to do next. There were bills to pay, decisions to make, and it was difficult to sleep an entire night. It took some time to get my equilibrium back, to be able to focus, to look to a future without my husband. Comparing my life with Martin Luther King, Nola Ochs, and Grandma Moses, my life and my dreams are very insignificant! I have not accomplished anything earthshaking! But dreams do not require that we do spectacular feats! After a loss, at first, dreams or hopes may come in very small baby steps such as sleeping all night, getting through a week, then a month, and making it through the first year. But later, as one becomes a little more adjusted to life without a loved one, dreams could include a new hobby, a new health goal, a special trip, making new friends, or taking a class. Dreams do not have to come wrapped in elaborate packages with flashy ribbons! Dreams can be very simple if the “dream” is right for the person. Perhaps ask yourself what you would like to do, what you would like to become. Maybe you can still “hitch your wagon to a star” and make some new dreams come true. Call about the next "Living Life after Loss" Group at: Dawn Phelps, RN/LMSW, Group Facilitator |
