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Dawn's NotesForever Changed Cinderella! Snow White! What did you think of when you read the names? Stories of cruel step-sisters and a jealous wicked queen? Tales of spitefulness and a poison apple? Or perhaps you thought of a handsome prince, a beautiful princess, mice being turned into horses, glass slippers, and “they lived happily ever afters”—two extremes! If you have experienced the loss of a loved one and are grieving, perhaps your “handsome prince” or “beautiful princess” has been taken from your life. The life you had planned may be in rubble, and your original dreams gone. Perhaps you feel cheated out of a twenty-fifth or fiftieth anniversary. If you have lost a spouse, you may have lost financial security, someone to share your life with, your identity as a “couple,” as well as many other losses. Your world is indeed forever changed! If you have lost a child through death, you have lost the dream of a future for your child. It is not the natural order of things for a child to die before a parent, yet it sometimes happens. Or perhaps you have lost a parent, a relative, or a close friend. Big losses! No matter how much you try to relive the past, remembering will not make the “now” as things used to be. A harsh reality that is hard to face! You may be confused and sad, and the world may seem a bit frightening and lonely. You may wish for some miracle to happen to free you from your misery as Cinderella was freed from her step-sisters who tormented her. You may wish for someone to swoop you up out of your pain, healing your broken heart. Even though you may never have a fairy tale life, all is not lost. In time, as your heart heals, perhaps you will find some gifts that you have received from your tough experience, gifts more precious than gold. For a moment think how you have changed since your loss. Perhaps the changes began before your loss if your loved one was ill for some time. Perhaps you have already discovered your inner strength if you provided care for your loved one or as you made it through the funeral, for instance. Have you learned the true meaning of empathy, that ability to put yourself into someone else’s shoes? A gift of gold, pure gold! Is your heart softer? Is your Perhaps you have learned what a hug can do for the soul. Maybe you are more thoughtful to take food or send a card to someone else who is sick or grieving? Yes, your life is forever changed. A handsome prince will probably not knock at your door, asking you to try on a glass slipper. No, a prince may not come riding through the forest on a white horse to rescue you. But I believe you can help determine the ending of your story. Maybe you can write empathy, gentleness, caring, and kindness into your pages, maybe even a bit of adventure and excitement! Dare to dream a new dream. Maybe you have learned how to make the world a gentler, kinder place. Forever changed? Absolutely, but perhaps it is not all bad. You still have a part to play in your Cinderella story. There could be some surprises and “happily ever afters” before “The End” of your book. Just hang on and see what happens! Call about the next "Living Life after Loss" Group at: Dawn Phelps, RN/LMSW, Group Facilitator |
