Dawn's Notes

Winners
November 2009
by Dawn Phelps, RN/LMSW

"I won," Will Thomas, age four, exclaimed as he crossed the finish line in the Tootlefest race for younger runners.  Tootlefest is the annual celebration in my hometown of Miltonvale.  The following week the local newspaper, the Miltonvale Record, included photos of the many races and events.  Will Thomas was in one photo with other younger runners.  In the photo, Will Thomas could be seen heisting up his khaki shorts which were about to fall off!    During the race Will had held his shorts up with his right hand, "pumped" with his left arm, and his legs moved as fast as they could go.  Seldom had he looked ahead at the finish line, but instead watched others pass him, one by one.   

Did Will Thomas cross the finish line first?  Not at all.  Nathan Phelps, Dick and Deanna's grandson, was the actual winner.  Congratulations to Nathan!  But as far as Will Thomas was concerned, he had won!  He had crossed the finish line, and that was good enough for him--he was happy! 

Winning is a wonderful thing, and I would have cheered for Will Thomas if he had crossed the finish line first.  I too like to win!    After the race, Deanna, Nathan’s grandmother, and I talked about how, more than likely, Will Thomas may have actually challenged Nathan to win.  Deanna reported that while the kids were in the pickup bed, being taken to the starting line for the race, Nathan had heard "some other little boy" in the truck say, "I am going to win," the very words that Will Thomas had  said to us earlier that morning.  At that point Nathan said he decided to beat that other little boy!  Sometimes a challenge is good for us—an incentive to do our best.   

Have you ever thought of how many other kinds of winners there are in this life?   Oscar winners, Grammy winners, Heisman trophy winners, Super Bowl winners, Golden Globe winners, Nobel Peace Prize winners, just to name a few.  We are a competitive society.  Just within the realm of sports, there are so many games—football, baseball, basketball, soccer, tennis, track, golf and the list goes on.  

But have you ever considered that there are ways that we can win every day even if we are no longer able to play sports? So much emphasis is placed  on winning at sports, yet our “sports" years are only a small portion of the years we will live, God permitting. Winning seems to bring with it excitement, determination, recognition and accolades for the winners.  But have you thought about other kinds of winners in life--winners who may never receive congratulations or recognition?  Yet they are, nonetheless, in my opinion, winners.

To me a winner is someone who is honest in business dealings even though the person may not be rich with money.

A winner is an Anchorage surgeon who saved the life of my great-nephew Jonathan, age six, from Fairbanks, Alaska, when Jonathan had a bowel obstruction. 

• To me a winner is the student who does his/her best at school even if the student cannot make straight As.
• A winner is the individual who spends time with a dying patient or brings comfort to the patient or family. 
• A winner is anyone who does a job well to the best of his ability or the soldier who serves his country well.
• A winner is a husband or wife who is patient and kind in relationships.
• A winner is the teacher who challenges students to learn and grow into productive citizens.
• A winner is a parent or grandparent who spends time with the “little ones.”
• A winner is one who does acts of kindness without recognition.  
• A winner is one who makes a positive difference in the world even after one’s own tragedy or loss.

If you are grieving the loss of someone you loved, you may have experienced the ultimate challenge.  But you too can be a winner, making something good come from your loss.  

Yes, "races" in life continue from the cradle to the grave.  Some are actual races such as the races the children participated in at Tootlefest.  Yet there are many unrecognized winners, many winners you will come in contact with throughout your life.

Our biggest and most important race of all, however, may be our final years, our final chance to make a difference.  If we can say at the end of our lives "I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, and I have kept the faith," then we will truly be winners!  So, like Will Thomas, heist up your shorts, and run with all you've got!  You don't have to be first; you just have to finish the race and finish it well!  That's a winner!

Call about the next "Living Life after Loss" Group at:
Meadowlark Hospice
709 Liberty
Clay Center, Kansas
(785) 632-2225

Dawn Phelps, RN/LMSW, Group Facilitator