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Dawn's NotesRemembered For... Last summer my husband Tom and I visited the Craigdarroch Castle in Victoria, British Columbia, Canada, not in Europe as one might expect. The castle was four stories high, built of stone from 1887-1890. No lords or knights lived in this castle, and there was no moat or drawbridge. But, like castles of medieval times, the castle held stories of happiness and sadness, stories of struggles for riches and power. Let me tell you a little of the Dunsmuir story, the owners of Craigdarroch Castle. In 1851 Robert and Joan Dunsmuir left Scotland to travel to the Canada. Joan had become pregnant out of wedlock and was ostracized from Scottish society. Robert and Joan married and traveled to Canada, where they later had ten children, two sons and eight daughters. But how, in the 1800s, could a man make such a fortune? Coal, black coal, brought him his wealth! Robert Dunsmuir was the owner of a profitable coal mining operation, and most of the coal miners were Chinese immigrants who worked for cheap wages. But there is more to the Dunsmuir story. One of the guides at the castle told of how Robert Dunsmuir had burned down the coal miners' bunkhouse when they wanted better wages. One source describes Robert as "an awful drinker" with "a heart as black as the coal he mined." When Robert heard that the miners were threatening to go on strike, he shut down the entire mining operation for four months, essentially starving the workers into submission. But that is not the worst of the story. When the miners returned to work after four months, he re-hired then for one-third less wages than before. Robert's wealth was acquired at the expense of others! But the story does not end there. After Robert's death, the two sons, Alex and James, battled their mother in court for the coal mines, with litigation lasting years. Perhaps, they, like their father, thought wealth would bring them happiness. Later Alex, like his father, built a castle, not in Canada but in California. He was also known for boozing, and Alex died before his castle was completed. James who had worked hard in the mines ended up missing after the ship Lusitania sank at sea. His body was never found—a tragic ending. The daughters were not exempt from troubled lives with one daughter ending up in a madhouse and others in bankruptcies. Wealth did not buy peace and happiness for the Dunsmuir family, and the Dunsmuir castle holds stories of squabbles, greed, power struggles, and sadness. Some historians depict Robert Dunsmuir as an entrepreneur, a noted businessman, and builder of a fortune, and the city of Victoria mourned his death. But other historians remember him as a ruthless, vindictive exploiter of men! I will remember the beauty of a sandstone castle standing proudly on a high hill. But I will also remember the "rest of the story" of how Robert Dunsmuir made his fortune. I will remember a tyrant who began as a miner, who later became a legislator, a man of prestige. But I will also remember him as a man who gained his fortune at the expense of others. In contrast to the Dunsmuir family, hopefully you have fond memories of your loved one you have lost through death. You probably miss your loved one terribly and have found that grieving is hard work! On Memorial Day we will remember those who have gone on before us, reflecting on how our loved ones touched our lives. But have you thought about how you will be remembered when you die? For stinginess and greed or for generosity and kindness? How would you answer the question, "What do I want to be remembered for?" Call about the next "Living Life after Loss" Group at: Dawn Phelps, RN/LMSW, Group Facilitator |
